Husband’s Feedback

My husband liked my book. I’ll paraphrase his kind words.

“You managed to accomplish what 95% of people who start a book don’t. You finished it. And of the five percent who finish only three percent write a good book. This is a good book.” He hugged me too. That was a wonderful. And there was no way that was all he had to say.

The week before I gave my book to him, I sent a copy to Kimberley Griffiths Little. She sent me positive feedback the same day my husband finished reading my book. Her feedback began:

I’ve finished reading and enjoyed it very much. You have a unique premise and twists and turns that are great. Your descriptions are really good, very beautiful in places. I also got a good sense of Ventura Beach and the setting, especially when they’re in the car with Mary and she’s drinking, etc. The kissing scenes with Billy are really, really good, too! Very sexy.

She treated me like a professional and gave me a critique on how to improve my book. I immediately wrote her back and thanked her for her insights and got to work brainstorming so I could meet her challenge and raise the bar on my work, bringing it to the next level. Kimberley believes if I do it successfully I will have more interest in LIFE-LIKE. How could I refuse? No, not me, not this girl! Why would I let two years of work go to waste because my ego got a bit scuffed? It doesn’t matter that I thought I was done revising it until my dream agent took me as a client and gave me a few notes. The gauntlet was set, and I was going to work my way through it.

After my husband gave me his feedback I told him what she said. He agreed. Her note made sense to him. It made sense to me too, but there was a teeny bit of disbelief in me. You see, they reminded me I don’t always put what’s in my mind on the page. It’s a VERY ANNOYING habit. I don’t recommend it if you’re a writer.

I needed to deepen the back story and interpersonal relationships between my main characters. The only way I could invision doing that was to add drama. So I thought of a scenario that makes the mother a little less likable, eek, but gave a greater motivation for the chain reaction that follows. It took me all day Thursday, to write five pages. I had to believe in the changes, see them, feel them, and write them. That meant making a few big edits.

I loved the opening page of my book. But it’s changing with this revision. I never imagined this fight I created. If it’s making me this uncomfortable does that mean it’s good? Were my characters too likable? (Insert heavy sigh.) The ripple throughout the book is going to flex my mental and imaginative muscles. I feel my darlings lining up against the firing wall. It feels like bits and pieces of me are being killed too.

And I can’t talk about my anxiety with my husband, he doesn’t want to listen to me as I pace around the house flinging my hands in the air working out the details. He sees the work I do but doesn’t always understand it.

Since I have to vent my anxiety,  you’re getting a full dose. I don’t want to send out a sub-par book. I want it to be better than anyone expects. Sometimes the best creativity is twisted out of us by outside forces. And I am thankful that the forces behind me have my best interest at heart. I just hope I can deliver and survive the change in my characters.

 

My husband is reading my book

I printed out LIFE-LIKE, punched holes into the left side margins, gently placed the pages into a three-ring binder, and cautiously placed it on my husband’s side of the bed. This will be the first time he’s read it.

Are you shocked? You shouldn’t be. I’ve read aloud to him from different parts of the book, at different stages, but he’s not the guy for me to bounce drafts off of for several reasons. The first one is, he really loves me and thinks my work is better than it is most times. Second, I don’t always want to hear his opinion when I am struggling to figure out an idea. Third, he’s busy and I don’t want to wait on him. Fourth, my ego is fragile and if he didn’t like an early draft I may not continue…okay, that’s a white lie, I would continue but I’d be annoyed at him and not trust his judgement. You see, I tell him my story ideas all the time, and usually he shakes his head, smiles at me, and tells me I’m weird. Other times he jumps in on how he imagines my story should go and I never agree with him so really what’s the point?

Oh, yes, my point. Once upon a time, I was sitting in a writing class where the instructor discussed circles of friends and readers and who should you trust to read your work in each phase. My instructor drew a series of concentric circles on the board and explained the few names I wrote in the innermost circle were the most trusted and those in the following circles were less so. I’m almost positive this was a memoir lecture, but it can be applied to fiction as well.

Remember back to last winter, when I was sad about my writers group falling apart? They were my inner circle. And when that virtual collective mind vanished I was left with a literary hole. I worked my way through all that and completed my book despite losing all those trusted eyes.

Now it’s time to put my book out into the world and who better to read it with fresh eyes than someone who wants me to succeed?

He read the first fifteen pages last night and this morning said, “The pages are tight and really moved. The only thing that stopped me was the word “stinker.” Who uses that?”

“I do. And maybe I’ll start a trend. If an agent or publisher wants me to change it I will.”

My friend asked me how I could stand letting him read it and if it was a lose-lose proposition for him. “It’s kind of asking him is your ass looks fat in those jeans, there is no winning. What if he doesn’t like it? He can’t tell you.”

“Yes, he can. And he’d better tell me if my ass looked fat in jeans too.”

“You guys have a good marriage.”

“Yes, I believe we do.”

Fingers crossed he’ll enjoy the rest of the story that LIFE-LIKE weaves.

He and I started discussing the dream cast for the movie. I haven’t figured out who would play my main character, Liv. But Blake Lively  is absolutely Mary,

English: An American actress Blake Lively at the premiere of “The Town” directed by Ben Affleck, during the Toronto International Film Festival, 2010. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

and Emile Hirsch would be a great Charlie,

Emile Hirsch at the premiere of Speed Racer at the 2008 Tribeca Film Festival. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

and Rachel Weisz would be a fantastic Maude.

Actress Rachel Weisz at the Toronto International Film Festival premiere of The Whistleblower in September 2010. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m curious to see what Debra Zane has to say about casting it too. It’s good to dream big. You should too.

Quick video clip

I am a writer. I like being behind the scenes, so excuse the awkwardness of my first vlog. I wanted to try something new.

Click on the Youtube link to see what I did this morning.

http://youtu.be/Ckz1CaekOa4

What have you done that makes you happy?

WriteOnCon

WriteOnCon, a free writers on-line conference, is about to begin.What are you waiting for? Sign up, I said it’s FREE!!! It is being held next week, August 14-16. Got to: www.writeoncon.com and see the list of amazing writers, agents, editors that are interested in helping all aspiring writers. I’d post the widget, but can’t seem to get it to work…

And here is my two cents for what it’s worth. I think the most important thing is the writing, your writing, my writing and having the best darn thing you can imagine and then some to show. I’ve worked on my manuscript LIFE-LIKE for years. My goal is to find an agent and get my story on every bookshelf possible. But publishing is not the end goal of every person.

People love writing and write for themselves and the joy and pain it brings to them. It is a way to express oneself and it so satisfying to fill a blank page with thoughts, words and emotion. Conferences can help answer questions on style, technique, voice, critique partners, pitching, recommending books to read, social media, and craft. If you are searching for assistance with any of this come look at WriteOnCon. Keep in mind too, that many universities near and around you offer writing classes. If you can’t make a face to face class, see if they offer on-line classes, many do and you should also look into Media Bistro.

I stayed away from conferences until I had something that I am proud of and am ready to take the rejection and support a conference can offer. By restricting myself from getting lost in the business of writing I gave myself a great deal of time to focus on my story.

I wish all the other writers out there good luck with their stories and process. See you on-line at WriteOnCon 2012 all this week.

Sneak Peek

Hi there. Guess what? I’m working through copy edits on my book and trying to write an interesting synopsis to help sell it. I’ve been dreading the synopsis since I realized I was writing a book. How would I boil hundreds of pages down to so few? I put off worrying about the synopsis until it was time to do the deed.

I never thought I had a book in me. Surprise, surprise, I did. And since I don’t do anything half-way and because I like my story and love the characters I created, I want to try to sell it. I’m going through the traditional publishing process of submitting to agents and finding a publisher one day soon (soon in publishing means years. It isn’t that quick but you get the idea) I sincerely hope you too may enjoy LIFE-LIKE by Holly Raychelle Hughes before 2015. And I could not have even started the process if it wasn’t for Kimberly Griffiths Little. She is my guardian angel guiding my way.

In the meantime, here is my synopsis for your reading enjoyment. I don’t think I’m done working on it, so your feedback is appreciated. Please let me know if anything is too vague or confusing. Remember this is a YA novel. My synopsis is meant to tickle an agent’s curiosity bone and make them ask to read my manuscript. It is not a beat outline and it does not reveal the end of my book.

Thanks for your help!

Synopsis of LIFE-LIKE

By Holly Raychelle Hughes

Most people assume that when they die they’ll see their life flash before their eyes prior to arriving at heaven’s pearly gates where their loved ones will greet them. But when Liv dies, she doesn’t go anywhere. Not heaven, not hell. At first, Liv doesn’t even know she’s dead.

On Tuesday, December eighteenth, Liv’s mother Maude is killed in a car accident. Maude tells her daughter this grim fact while ignoring the gaping hole in her head and complaining about the sensation of cold stainless steel against her bare ass at the morgue.

Despite her initial shock and denial, Liv is determined to save her mother from deteriorating into a maternal apparition that will haunt her forever. No flying, ethereal angels lounging on white puffy clouds come to assist Liv. But angels do appear. Unfortunately Liv can’t recognize them or their attempts to help her. To Liv they materialize as bothersome ravens, a girl with a drinking problem, a Goth, a stalker, and an undead man trying to take her mother away from her forever.

Liv remains oblivious to her circumstances. Not only is she dead, she’s trapped in limbo. Liv must wake up to the opportunity fate has given or risk dying with regret suffering a horrible eternal afterlife. She takes the risks to design the life before her eyes.  First she manipulates the day in an attempt to save her mother. Changing events doesn’t save anyone but it does reveal her true feelings toward her best friend. Liv is beyond irritated. How can her life be over now that she’s fallen in love? Liv’s journey is an emotional ride through the perilous waters of love, shame and ultimately forgiveness.

Shelli Johannes Wells UNCONTROLLABLE Book Cover Reveal!

Hey!! – here is cover for Uncontrollable (Book 2 in The Nature of Grace series) (What do you think?)

Launch is Sept 24th (yay!).

Shelli is having a cover contest, go to srjohannes.com and see details.

Summary

As Grace recovers from tragedy, her science class is chosen by Agent Sweeney at the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service to help with research on the new “Red Wolf Reintroduction Program”.While she’s excited about helping with the conservation of the endangered wolves, Grace knows this means being outdoors in the worst winter recorded, in a place she no longer feels comfortable. It also means working closely with Wyn (her ex) and his annoying girlfriend (Skyler), a girl whose idea of getting close to nature is growing silk plants.

After a couple wolves show up dead, Grace almost quits. When a fellow project team member goes missing, Grace continues the assignment under a renewed suspicion that someone might be sabotaging the conservation program. She quietly begins to hunt for clues.

Little does she know, she is being hunted too.And possibly by more than one person.

===================PRAISES FOR UNTRACEABLE

“Grace is a spunky, independent, nature girl who doesn’t need a boy to save her. With wilderness survival, a juicy love triangle, and more twists and turns than a roller coaster, this fast-paced novel had me holding my breath until the very last page—and still begging for more!” -Kimberly Derting, author of the The Body Finder series (Harper Teen) and The Pledge series (S&S)

“This thrilling story is a dramatic entanglement of mystery, deception and teen romance. The action flows like a brisk mountain stream interspersed with rapids, holding suspense to last page.”

- Kirkus Reviews

“Johannes has done a marvelous job of creating a suspense-filled mystery with surprises that keep you guessing all the way to the end. Untraceable is a thoroughly engrossing and riveting page-turner.”

-IndieReader

Bio

S.R. Johannes is the author of award-winning and Amazon bestselling Untraceable (a teen wilderness thriller) and new tween paranormal, On The Bright Side. She has also published short novelettes as well as a teen romance anthology with 16 other authors titled, In His Eyes.  Uncontrollable, the sequel to Untraceable, is scheduled for September 2012.

S.R. Johannes is a winner of the 2012 IndieReader Discovery Awards (Young Adult) and was also recently nominated for as Georgia Author of the Year (Young Adult).

After earning an MBA and working in corporate America, S.R. Johannes traded in her expensive suits, high heels, and corporate lingo for a family, flip-flops, and her love of writing.  She lives in Atlanta, Georgia with her dog, British-accented husband, and the huge imaginations of their little prince and princess, which she hopes- someday- will change the world.  

Holiday Neurosis

I have been avoiding you. Nothing personal, it’s just I’ve had so many thoughts running through my head I needed time to sort them. I also wanted to be able to wrap them up in a funny package, but trying to write funny is disastrous. Instead I’ll confess to the things that have been keeping me up at night and hopefully they won’t be too jumbled for you because honestly this is how my mind works…

 

1. I cut my hair short. It’s in a really cute 1920’s bob with bangs. I cut about 8 inches in length. I was excited about it at the hair salon, but since living with my husband’s less than happy reaction to it, I feel ugly.  I told him before I did it. He warned me about how he would react to short hair. He doesn’t like it. I didn’t think I’d care, but three weeks since the cut, the look he gives me when he sees my hair is starting to stab at my heart.
2. I was 5 days late. I thought I was over all that baby making crap. And then a speck of disbelief then hope crept into me and blossomed then was squashed when my period showed up on day 31.  Flow had been starting on day 26. WTF! I can’t quite sort our how I feel about it. But these are the neurotic thoughts I had while contemplating being pregnant:
   1. How much longer would I be able to work out? Since I had 2 miscarriages I imagined asking my Zumba instructor how long she’d recommend that I do it? Could I do it less? Could I keep doing it since I’ve been at it 2x per week for 8 months? If I were pregnant who would I tell? Would I keep it a secret? Who would I ask for a recommendation for an OBGYN? When would the baby be due? Would I make my 25^th HS reunion? Would I want to go 9 months pregnant? I would rather show up now, all thin and fit than large and pregnant. People in my class have kids in high school themselves, and I’d be there just starting my family. What would that be like? Would I keep the secret and tell my husband as his Hanukkah present? He keeps talking about not having to go through having a vasectomy since I am apparently infertile. And then that rubs me the wrong way because the most useless question pops up- why me? And if I were pregnant I’d have to finish my rewrites on Life-like and get an agent ASAP because pregnant brain and I aren’t very productive. I wish I could get out of bed in the middle of the night and write when my head is spinning uselessly like this because what’s the point of being awake if I’m not being productive? And what’s the point of being awake when my little girl is finally asleep? And why on earth has her sleep gotten so bad? When will she sleep through the night again? If I have a baby I won’t have any sleep. M y schedule will be at the infants’ beck and call. Am I ready to go back to that when I just achieved some personal time aka freedom? What will I do about our new kitten if I am pregnant? She refuses to be litter box trained and there is no way any child of mine is going to crawl around on a floor that may have a surprise puddle or poop.
   2. My 43^rd birthday is one month away. I love birthdays. I think everyone should celebrate birthdays for at least one whole week.  But something about this number is freaking me out. 43! SHIT THAT’S A GROWN UP AGE. I’d better get going on my book.  I promised my husband I’d let go of the baby things in the attic in January. And two months ago I was ready to do it. I should have done it then. This week the idea of it makes me cry. Maybe I should cry. Let it out. Why do I feel the need to be strong when no one is around? What would tears do for me? Nothing. Or would it be sweet relief? Either way, he needs to back off. Not like he’s neat and not like the stuff is anyone’s way. So there! PPPP
   3. The first draft of life-Like, my Young Adult novel, is a bit rougher than I thought. My middle chapters have to be completely rewritten because I had lost my way there in my first draft. It’s taking longer than I’d like.
   4. I also have an essay I’d like to write. It’s kind of out there. I want to write about how I wish I could masturbate like a man. Or rather its about how I am jealous of men’s ability to turn on the internet and get off.  I may write it as a short story though. I could have more fun with it if I fictionalize a few things.

 

See what I mean these are totally random thoughts bouncing off the walls of my mind.

 

And then the good stuff. I’ve hidden my daughter’s first night of Hanukkah present in the house. My parents used to hide our gifts and it was so much fun searching for them. I thought at 3 ½ she’d enjoy it too.  It’s not exactly hard to find I’ll get sneaky when she’s older.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah! Hope your mind isn’t keeping you from enjoying the holidays!

 

 

 

 

5 Days Late

I was five days late. Went out and bought a pregnancy test. Negative. Period showed up 7 hours later today. For a minute there I thought I was about to receive a Christmas miracle. Funny how hope can show up and make my heart race. Oh well. At least now I can drink some red wine to relieve my cramps.

avoidance

I’ve been avoiding you. It’s true. I have. I didn’t know what to say to you so I figured silence was golden. That and I felt really boring. And who wants to take time out of their day to read something boring? Not me that’s for sure. I hate it when I pick up a boring book and then am compelled to finish it because I can’t leave things unfinished.

I was trying to think about how to write something funny for a change. I love making people laugh, but writing something funny when your day consists of chores and rewrites isn’t easy. Then I got a great phone call.

My friend T called. We haven’t seen each other for a few weeks. Her family has been fighting change of season colds. Her baby boy had to get tubes put in his ears, you know, more every day family life stuff. I missed seeing her. She is beautiful and she’s kind and she has a smile and laugh that make the gloominess that lives inside me disappear whenever I’m having a bad day.

During the summer we were talking about babies, and having more, and my situation (not being able to conceive) and I got this feeling. Actually it’s my intuition. I’m slightly psychic. Regardless I knew she’d be pregnant again soon. I could feel the soul hanging out and waiting for the opportunity to slip in. She told me how she was going to a wedding in September and didn’t want to be pregnant because she wanted to have a lot of fun while she was out of town. I knew her baby didn’t want to wait. I told her to be careful. My girl didn’t believe me…

Today she confessed that she hasn’t been feeling well.

“Are you pregnant?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“I told you so!” was pretty much what I said. “I told you you’d be pregnant by September.”

“I know!”

I am so happy for her.

She’s a bit upset because how much she is showing early in her pregnancy. I told her she had a baby less than a year ago – no duh. And I’m sure she doesn’t look any different it’s just her imagination.

And a miraculous thing happened. As she was telling me about her pregnancy I felt nothing. I felt no stab of pain. I had no feelings of self-remorse regarding my inability to have a baby. I was just excited. Honestly excited. I could hardly believe it. I had to sit back after we hung up the phone and check in with myself and my self answered back, you’re fine. You don’t hurt. You’re really okay.

This was shocking to me. I texted my hubby and told him about their good news. His first question was, “Are you alright?” (he’s really protective of me, I like quality).

“I’m totally fine.”

“You sure?”
He knows I typically have a delayed emotional reaction to things. I take time to process feelings.

“I’m good.”

And I am. And I am so relieved. I am so elated not to carry around that pain and grief any longer.

I guess this means I’m entering a new chapter of my life. One I never imagined. I’ve always pictured my life and my future. I always had goals to tick off. I always had some place I wanted to get to. But right now, I don’t. I’m happy in my here and now. I am not desperate. I’m practically satisfied. This is a miracle. An honest miracle. I don’t really know how to sit in it and live like this for very long. I suppose the desire to rewrite, polish, find an agent and sell my book will consume me soon- not that it doesn’t already affect all aspects of my life. It does from the books I read to my interests and the hours and hours I spend with a pen in hand or with my fingers tapping away at my keyboard.

My point is, I’ve moved past my pain. I thought I might have to live with it forever. It’s good to be wrong. Congrats T and A. Love you!

I just don’t get it…

Dear Period,

Why do you keep showing up while I’m on vacation? You know you’re an uninvited guest. So what gives? Not only are you uninvited, you’re early. A whole week early, as if you got the date wrong on the invitation. Let me explain it to you, you are welcome to arrive every 28 days okay? Is that so hard to remember? You’ve been pretty good at it for 29 years. Don’t undestand why you can’t get it right lately.

And why do you have the need to make me so hormonal? We all know by now that my hormones and eggs aren’t on my side in regards to getting pregnant. So how come they are powerful enough to make me cry and get all crabby? What’s the friggin point?! Why is that you Period have the power to make me feel sick, make my boobs ache, and make me short tempered if you’re not powerful enough to make and keep a baby? Just sayin’!