Expressing Motherhood and Maria Shriver

In October 2010 I got the most exciting phone call of my life. Lindsay Kavet, the producer of Expressing Motherhood had selected me, because of my Dear Baby essay, to be part of Expressing Motherhood in January 2011. As she spoke, I paced the deck in my house across the country in Charlotte, NC, and thought about the irony of being asked to participate in a play in Los Angeles just a few weeks after moving away from the city I spent eighteen years in. Then she threw me a curve ball, she wanted me to write another essay about leaving LA and perform it to an Angelino audience. I was scared and wanted to do it bt told her I’d have to talk it over with my husband because 1) the show ran over two weeks in La and 2) I’d NEVER been away from my daughter, then two-and-a-half-years-old, for more than a night. Could I leave her that long? Who would help him take care of her? Oh, and did I mention that I was trying to get pregnant and take all sorts of make me crazy hormones? My husband, told me there was no way I shouldn’t do it. My mother said the same. And so, for the first time in my mommy life I was being recognized by people who never met me because of my writing. And it felt awesome.

It took a little while to write my new essay. It took me longer to memorize it, I called an actress friend of mine and asked her, “How do you do it????!??!?!?!??” And the most ironic thing was, that although I am a big personality in front of friends and even strangers, when you put me on a stage, point a bright light at me and say, “Go!” my voice leaves me. Jessica Cribbs and Lindsay Kavet had to really push and teach me how to be on stage. With their help and encouragement I did it, along with my cast mates whose stories made me laugh, cry, think, and nod my head in agreement. I made friends backstage. I was inspired to continue writing. I am in awe of the hard work that goes into this production and thankful that Expressing Motherhood exists.

Best of all, I am thrilled to say they are receiving the recognition they deserve. Earlier this week, Maria Shriver, for the NBC Today Show, interviewed Jessica Cribbs and Lindsay Kavet. Here’s what they have to say about it:

To be interviewed by Maria Shriver was amazing. To see our show represented so well is a gift.
Thank you Maria Shriver and the Today Show.
http://www.today.com/video/today/51801074/#51801074

I want you to know these amazing women better and it was fun to turn the tables on them and get the interview:

What made you initially start Expressing Motherhood?

We had both come to LA to pursue our creative passions and then stopped working to become mothers. When my son was 1 1/2 years I wanted to challenge myself to become uncomfortable and doing something creative. I was looking into a writing course at UCLA at night but I was too tired to even go to the class at night. I wanted to write a play but realized I didn’t have the time or even perhaps talent so I thought how about a group collaboration? I called Jessica and she was in and we fine tuned the idea and Expressing Motherhood was born. A platform for people to share their stories about motherhood.

What keeps you going back?
The absolute joy of producing and directing the show. Directing has been my dream since I was a little girl. So this fulfills my dreams really.

How did you come up with the title?
I produced a lot of milk with my first.
I think milk was on our minds but my husband came up with the idea. A great title.

How do you go about selecting stories?
Everything was based around the internet.
We literally worked on this while our children napped.
The power has always been in the story, that’s why there are no auditions. I don’t even know what most of the people look like.
Stories are sent to me and they are selected to all fit together like a puzzle.

Tell me everything about being contacted by Maria Shriver’s people?
We were contacted on thursday at 2PM and I think we were both thrilled and scared. I was very concerned that the show would not be represented in the best light. Not because of the Today Show or Maria Shriver but because of my lack of being able to express myself on national TV!
I was very pleased with the outcome.

Did you believe it?
No!

Who turned her onto Expressing Motherhood?
Her producer, a fellow mom, found us somehow and pitched us to Maria. Maria said, done deal. She loved the shows concept.

How many times did you pinch yourself while being interviewed?

I can’t imagine the number of stories you’ll receive now…I’m so glad I got to be a part of Expressing Motherhood in 2011.
How many shows are you producing this year?
TBD.

Would you ever take the show on the road?
We have taken the show on the road. In 2009 we went to NYC and in 2010 Boston. But we’ve had so many babies we’ve stayed local now for awhile.

What is the biggest surprise about the show?
The success. We had no fear in the beginning because we had nothing to lose or prove. This has been built on passion and just completely taken off.

The biggest reward for putting it on?
The camaraderie and the community the show has built. 100% rewarding.

What story do you remember most?
I remember them all. Honestly they are all very important to me.

What do you want people to take away from the show?
Just a feeling of being normal and being one with one another. Might sound cheesy but it is true.

my cast:  

submissions:

tickets:click to see Expressing Motherhood THIS MOTHERS DAY

Mayday

I remember watching movies and hearing, “Mayday, mayday!” as an actor clutched a handset yelling for help into the great unknown.

This May has been a whirlwind. I’ve been working hard on the Charlotte Leukemia Lymphoma Society’s (LLS) Man of the Year campaign. We were tapped to participate a handful of days prior to kickoff and we are a team of 2 competing against others who are fundraising for the LLS. Other people have teams of ten or more and planned events for months, which is very impressive. But I got to tell you…I’m exhausted. I think I could have been a professional fundraiser if I wasn’t a writer, it employs many of the same specialities as film and television production- tenacity and not taking no for an answer. But it hasn’t left me much mind space for writing.

Until now. We’re at the home stretch. Tomorrow we are hosting a wine tasting, next Saturday, May 18 is the LLS Gala and then (hands flew up over my head) I’m done. My creative mind knows it will have my full attention. It’s bubbling with story ideas and plot points for TWO stories. I can’t believe it. I have two more book ideas in mind. I’m so excited! I can’t believe I can write more than one book.

And then another thought creeps into my mind. Mother’s Day. In my household I have a simple request. My husband has to take over Mommy duties for the day. I don’t want overpriced flowers- get them for me all year not on one day- I don’t want an expensive brunch. I want him to make the coffee, challah french toast, cook and clean, go to the grocery store and do the laundry including taking it out of the drier and folding it! I want him to be reminded of how hard it is to do it all. And I am happy to say, he does it.

But then I think about my struggle to have another child and remember there are women in our world who haven’t been able to fulfill their desire to have a family. I imagine Mother’s Day is hard for them. My heart breaks knowing a little bit of how they feel.

And now the story of the three girls and their child held captive comes out. I can’t wrap my brain around the horror they survived. The pain and grief their captivity caused their mother’s and families. I am thankful they are once again with their families. But I for one will be chaperoning my daughter for a long long long long long time.

And this is why I am calling, “Mayday!” There is so much good and bad, happy and sad going on this month. I am torn, elated, pushed and pulled, and I want to pause and take a breath. Hope this month has been a good one for you.

 

Auction items for the LLS Gala, join us, do some good and place a bid!

Put the finishing touches on a overnight stay at the Andrew Pinckney Inn including dinner for two at Anson Restaraunt in Charleston. Want to experience this luxury getaway? Attend the LLS Gala May 18th and place a bid! I’ve also secured jewelry from Diamonds Direct, chezelle, artwork from Priscilla Balbinder, and the Furniture Connector, a teeth whitening package, an electric piano care of Music and Arts, a gift ceritificate from Carriage Dry Cleaners, a gift ceritifcate to Ageless Remedies, a day at the range and shooting lessons and let’s not forget 4 tickets to Jimmy Kimmel Live! What you waiting for? Join us for some nosh and cocktails…follow the link and click on ATTEND THE GRAND FINALE http://www.mwoy.org/pages/nc/clt13/rhughes

 

Leukemia Lymphoma Society of Charlotte

Dead Girls Aren’t Passé in YA and I’ll tell you why

I’ve been doing a lot of learning about the business of young adult publishing. And I am fascinated by it. After receiving several query responses from agents that included the notes: we like the voice, the story, the quirk of your world but it’s not right for my list (translation, I like it but don’t love it enough to sell it) I wanted to find out why. And the other day I learned something new from Lorin Oberweger, and it was reinforced by another friend who sold a book similar to mine a few years ago (dam and I thought I was completely original!) that the “paranormal” genre is done, passé, not interesting enough to sell unless it offers something new. First off, I never categorized What Death has Touched as paranormal. Liv isn’t a ghost, she’s a soul lost and trapped in limbo unaware of the fact she was killed. To me it was always clearly high concept…Liv is dead but doesn’t know it and is having one hell of a day figuring it out…in other what if words: what if a girl died and didn’t know it but thought her mother died then set off to save her from deteriorating into a maternal apparition that would haunt her forever and  gets the chance to save her from dying in the first place?

I believe this story serves a higher purpose. 

Our country is grieving murdered children, innocent victims of a terrible bombing and unimaginable “why did it have to happen” deaths. People, no matter what their age, need help processing grief. They need to be reminded each day is precious and to live without regret. What Death has Touched, gives the reader an opportunity to save one life, a mother’s life, and gives a seventeen-year-old girl a chance to say “I love you!” for the first and last time. It’s empowering and inspiring, and dare I say it…has a spiritual message as its subtext.

Dead girls in YA aren’t passé because our country is dealing with the horror in Boston, Sandy Hook, Texas, and all the senseless  horrendous shit life deals out with and dead girls are one way to deal with it.

I believe What Death has Touched is an important message to share. I hope to find others who agree with me soon. #whyiwanttosharemystory

And the winner is…

Congratulations Rachel B. You are the winner of an autographed copy of When the Butterflies Came by Kimberley Griffiths Little.

cheering myself on

Last night as I got into bed, I thought about my goal of writing a good book, finding an agent, being published and read. And I thought, “I am fucking crazy! Who goes for such lofty things?” And then I smiled because this is exactly who I am. No matter if my writing is your cup of tea or not, no matter the diametrically opposed opinions on it, (some love bits that others think are terrible) this is what I’m meant to do, I know it despite the bad days and doubts, this is what I am going to succeed at. So there.

Then I woke up this morning and received this Kabbalistic mesage in my in box- literally in my email in box:

HUNGER FOR SUCCESS

72 Name of the Week

Mem Mem Ayin
PASSION

As I meditate on this sequence of letters, I feel the power of passion filling my heart and soul. Sincerity, devotion, and yearning for connection to the Creator drive my prayers and meditations. My consciousness opens up and connects me fully to the Upper Worlds.

It doesn’t take much to see that talent and innate ability have little to do with success in this world. Some of the greatest writers never make it to the bestseller list, while some of the most talented singers continue to go unsung. One athlete born with incredible skills might never make it to the pros. 

The difference between those who enjoy success in their field and the rest of us is: Desire. 

Ask yourself these questions: How hungry are you to improve? How big is your appetite for more? What are you willing to do to make your dreams come true? …How badly do you want it? 
If you look at anyone you admire who is at the top of their game—the best of the best, and the legends that time will not forget—they all have one thing in common: They were willing to do whatever it takes. 

The ancient kabbalists were like this, too. Their lives were lived for a purpose. They knew that revealing our soul’s potential is what reveals pure bliss. 

We’re all starving for success but instead of doing the work it takes to make things happen in our lives, we find ways to fill the emptiness. It’s easier to spend an hour watching TV than it is to study. It’s easier to sleep in an extra few minutes instead of going to the gym or meditating in the mornings. It’s easier to go out with friends than to dedicate our evening to getting the project done. 

Nothing worth doing is ever easy—but ask anyone who has tasted success and they will tell you, the hard work is always worth it.

Instead of filling the emptiness, stay hungry. 

When you stay hungry, nothing can stop you from revealing your best …Nothing.

Husband featured in The Charlotte Observer

Russell is featured in the Charlotte Observer today, Sunday, March 24, 2013, for his Leukemia & Lymphoma Society fundraising work. Check him out in the South Charlotte News section page 3SN. Thank you Karen Devereaux Scioscia!

Anyone who wants to help can start by going to his website at:www.mwoy.org/pages/nc/clt13/rhughes.

Hughes personal goal is to raise $50,000 from March 7th- May 18th, which of course means involving his whole family, but luckily, people can donate in many ways.

Leukemia

We are still working hard on the Leukemia Lymphoma Society fundraiser.

Please, don’t wait for a better time, tomorrow, or later to donate. It doesn’t take much effort to help, might as well do it now.

http://www.mwoy.org/pages/nc/clt13/rhughes#.UUcpwZzNiGE.facebook

Follow the link and click the green button
DONATE NOW
then click
OTHER
and fill in any amount you are comfortable with. You’d be amazed at what a difference $10 or $20 dollars can make in the life of a family dealing with Leukemia
Thanks for the support!

Query Advice

So, most of you are aware that I wrote a Young Adult novel and am actively querying it to literary agents. I worked for years on my manuscript, worshopped it, paid for critiques, had trusted friends give me notes, started over, revised, killed darlings, filled out chapters and poured all that I am into this book.

I’d like to pass along one tidbit of information to you, my fellow writers, about querying. First off, let me confess, I was a nervous wreck about writing my own query. I tried one hundred and fifty-six times to condense my work into a few short paragraphs. A skill that takes a keen eye and precision. Neither of which I possess when it comes to my own work. I have helped at least fifteen friends do this with their novels and memoirs, but simply haven’t transferred the ability magically to my own work. It’s so aggravating. That being said, I did finally write a query, I thought it was good and when I thought I’d written the best book I could ever write, and after I had an editor go through my manuscript and correct my poor comma usage, typos and grammar I began the process of sending my work out into the world.

I created an excel spreadsheet. The header has: date submitted, agent, agency, agency website, email address, submission guidelines, response date, notes. Next I researched the agents. I saw who represented books I love, books my friends wrote, I went to the SCBWI website and checked into their list of agents, I get Publishers Marketplace, I clicked on agent reviews, querytracker, I read agency websites, paid attention to submission guidelines, found interviews and read them, I did everything I could think of and then some to build the list of agents to query. I want to find someone who will love my book and be my advocate.

What I didn’t understand, and what I hope to spare you from, is like everything else having to do with writing, it takes revision before your work is ready. There is a learning curve with query letters, even if you think you’re a smarty pants. And man-oh-man did I smash my face against it. I admit my Rookie Error in an earlier post, where I quote an agent who reviewed my book at an SCBWI event telling the other agent how much she liked the mother daughter relationship. But guess what, that agent didn’t ask for my book, and so all the agents I sent that what I thought pertinent information actually thought was, “Ms. G passed. I will too.” Don’t do that people. Don’t tell an agent another agent liked an aspect of your work. They don’t care unless that agent wants your book and then let the war start.

I studied my query, I read other queries, I got new perspective on my work and then I REVISED MY QUERY, over and over before submitting the query to other agents.

Now here is where my bit of advice come is. When you create your dream list of agents, my suggestion is…..

DON’T SEND YOUR QUERY TO THE TOP FIVE FIRST. Make your mistakes and learn but don’t push away a potential  agent with silly mistakes. Get your sea legs. Figure out what works best for you and your story and then go for it!

Hope to see you all on a bookshelf soon!

I got hacked

Hi everyone, I’m sad to report my computer was hacked and mayhem has taken effect. If you posted any comments that weren’t approved, I apologize but the hacker got into this account as well and I have to be extra cautious.

 

On the good news side- I woke up tp big fluffy snowflakes raining from the sky this morning. Happy Saturday.