Irony= Going back on the pill when I’m infertile

Met with my OBGYN yesterday. It’s been practically five years since I went to see one for a regular PAP smear. I thought, after giving up on ever getting pregnant again, it was time for a check up and PAP.

My new doctor, Jack Lucas, MD at Eastover Obstetrics & Gynaecology Associates was wonderful. He took time to sit and talk to me before getting down to the business at hand. If you need an OBGYN in the Charlotte, N.C. I’d suggest seeing this man.

During our conversation I brought up my irregular cycle. I was curious if going back on the pill was a good option. He agreed that it was, and told me more about Seasonique, which is a low estrogen pill that gives women the option to only have a period four times per year. This was appealing to me. My period may show up anywhere from day 21- 35 so, knowing that my periods would be much farther apart sounds heavenly.

Of course after discussing birth control the, I wanted to conceive and have another baby, part of my brain hit the alarm button.

“What if you have some kind of miracle? If you go on the pill that will quash any chance of that ever happening. And why spend all that money on the pill when you’re infertile? Isn’t ironic to spend money on tricking your body into thinking it’s pregnant when it can never be again?”

“Ouch, bitch that hurts.”

“Just saying.”

“Well don’t say.”

“You’re the one thinking it. Let it out. You don’t have to do it this month. Wait, just one more month.”

“Do you know how much I hate the idea of “waiting one more month”? I’ve lived like that for three years. It’s a miserable way to live!”

“It leaves room for hope and miracles.”

“Exactly, it’s a fucking miserable way to live.”

“Fine, then go get the pill.”

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“The silent treatment, really?”

“Not the silent treatment. Just, it still makes me sad. It still hurts knowing that I can’t have another baby. And the hurt doesn’t surface until it’s triggered. Thanks, for triggering it.”

“Come here. I’ll give you a hug. Everything will be okay.”

“I know. Thanks. Hugs always make me feel better.”

“I’m here for you.”

Reproductive Rights

I was up in arms about the all male panel on the House Committee on Oversight & Government Reform hearings on the contraceptive coverage rule when I saw the photo depicting these religious leaders and professors on ethics and religion:

Rev. William Lori, Roman Catholic bishop of Bridgeport, Conn.; Rev. Matthew Harrison, the president of the Lutheran Church in Missouri; Ben Mitchell, a professor of moral philosophy at Union University; Rabbi Meir Solveichik, from Yeshiva University; and Craig Mitchell, a professor of ethics at the Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.

I thought they don’t have vagina’s. Why is it up to them?  When my disgust showed on my face my husband understood but then said, “This is about religion, not contraception.”

I am all for religious freedom but I think the personal matter of contraception is just that, personal. And I know plenty of people of all faiths that don’t live by the strictest of virtues set by their religions. I think that if someone works for a religious organization, but personally wants access to birth control then it’s none of that organizations business.  It is between the individual and the insurance. The employer should not have a say so in that.

My DH believes it is the right of the religious organization, to have the freedom to stick to its principles. I say that is a slippery slope. Seperation of Church and State and my individual rights etc. DH said if a person wants contraceptive coverage they can work some place else. That may be true, but jobs are hard to come by.

Then DH asked, “When was the last time your health insurance covered birth control?”

The last time I was on birth control was five years ago.  And my insurance hadn’t covered birth control pills in the years previous. So is this all a moot point? Whose insurance covers contraceptive birth control any more? Heck I’m in search of a family health insurance plan now.  I don’t know how we’ll afford it. I’m scared to find out how much it will cost us. And I’m even more afraid of a government-run insurance because well, look at the state of things. Where would contraception fall between the Democrats and Republicans?

Why are religious conservatives afraid of contraception?

I could go on and on. My answer is this. If you don’t want to take a pill then don’t take it. If you don’t want to terminate a pregnancy, then don’t. But just because you choose not to, don’t stop me from doing it. You would never know by looking at me if I used contraceptives or had an abortion.

Moving on from the circular arguments I found Jena McGregor‘s post in The Washington Post today: Absence of women at birth-control hearing prompts larger question

I liked what she had to say. We need more women in positions of influence making decisions about women’s lives.

Whatever your beliefs or preferences I am glad in the United States of America we have the freedom to express them. Please don’t repress my rights to choose them.