Things that come in twos

I decided to stop taking Clomid, and you know what happened? After four weeks I’m no longer a stark raving, short fused, irritable woman. Hallelujah!  Who knew? I am still here.  It feels good to feel more like myself after six months of posing as another bitchy woman.

Maybe I shouldn’t be so harsh on myself. I believe that you can manifest whatever you set your mind to. So in the Ask and it is Given Learning to Manifest Your Desires (written by Esther and Jerry Hicks) mindset, I will honor my body.

I am working on erasing the thought that I am broken because clearly I am not. I also believe things happen in your life for a reason. Although at this point I can’t fathom the reason to suffer miscarriages and secondary infertility.

I didn’t care for the previous recurring theme in my life of losing a home, which I have, twice. One burned in a fire and the other came tumbling down in an earthquake.

Maybe that’s the pattern. Two similarly terrible things and then I move on to the next. I must be done with the miscarriage thing since I’ve had two. Oh crap…what am I inviting into my world now?

I know…I need to ask for what I want…I’m going to write it down so I know I am being clear…happiness…a healthy pregnancy and a healthy child. I can do it. We all can.



4 thoughts on “Things that come in twos

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  1. Stay strong Holly! I’m currently on a break from Clomid myself. It wasn’t so much the cramping and nausea as it was the obsessing, bitterness and self loathing I heaped on everyone around me. I know where you’re coming from and I’m sending prayers and positive vibes your way. I wish you all the best!

    1. Glad to know I wasn’t the only obsessing, bitter, self loathing female equivalent of Dr Jykl and Mr Hyde. Why don’t they tell us about the terrible mood swings? Wishing you happiness.

  2. I like the way you think. Positive thought and love towards your body is so important..and it’s taken me a while to realize that.

    Although I wish those things never happened to you, I hope you’re right, and you’re about to move on to the next happier phase.

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