Still Counting

I wish I could tell you all of my neurotic behaviors regarding getting pregnant have all disappeared, but that’s not the case. I am painfully aware of what day of my cycle I’m at. I am still taking the folic acid, prenatal vitamins and the last of the FertilAid (http://www.fertilaid.com/) that’s in my pantry 3x a day. I tell myself I’m doing it so they don’t go to waste, but really it’s a compulsion like a germ-a-phobe who washes her hands after touching things. And I’m still marking my calendar denoting the days we’ve done it.

None of it matters and I know it, but I can’t help it. I’ve been doing this sort of thing for two years. Old habits die-hard. My exercise routine hasn’t erased the pattern. I’m wondering how I’ll react once I finish the bottles of pills. Will I be ready to face my reality then?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: