I think I am having a midlife crisis. And it’s nothing like I imaged. I pictured turning forty (I’m 42) and having a desperate need for a sports car, designer high heels, or an expensive vacation to the Amalfi Coast.
But not, unfortunately my midlife crisis appears to be secondary infertility and depression. WTF! Seriously this is so unglamorous. And I am admitting to depression only because so many friends are worried about me. And I would have sworn on my life that I didn’t have post partum depression after my daughter was born, but enough friends came to me saying I did that I finally gave in and got help and low and behold they were right.
So this is it. My midlife crisis is presenting itself as stress and depression. It’s unfair. I feel cheated. Maybe Jimmy Choo shoes would make me feel better…not! I’m stressed from moving cross country, making new friends, starting a new life, writing a novel, taking clomid, femara, fertility treatments, infertility mistreatments and tests.
I guess if I step back from it all I could understand how all of that could freak a person out, a bit. But this is me. I’m a strong girl! We only get what we can take…right? What if what I should take is help? Maybe a little therapy would bring the happy Holly back. Maybe a little help will ease the exhaustion and give me some energy back.
But I’m telling you now. Once I get myself back in tiptop shape I’m so going to ask for a do-over in the midlife crisis department. Okay?
Anyone else feel this way? Any ICLW women out there dealing with the same thing?