big ticket items

My man candy and I will be moving in about one month. The purging has begun in preparation of shoving our belongings back into boxes so they can be carted a few miles away into a great house we can call our own.

Of course you know what he asked me, “What about the crib? Are we moving it?”

“Yes,” I said.

He rolled his eyes, and I’m pretty sure he said, “Really?!”

“I’m not ready yet, that’s all there is to it.” And that is true. I’ve made great strides but I can’t seem to let go of the big-ticket items.

Then a few hours later he tells me, “The Orbit stroller, car seat and base sold for $1,000 on Ebay.”

I blinked at him. We could use the money to pay for movers. But again I’m not ready to let go of the coolest stroller on the planet. (  Even though my daughter hasn’t been in it for years. What happens if we have some kind of miraculous miracle and we need them? All the small stuff I can do without, but not that cute crib and amazing infant car seat stroller system. No way.

“I don’t know where the sun shade is or the pod for the bottom of the stroller though,” he said.

I don’t tell him I know exactly where they are. Which now, after he reads this, he will know. I expect him to bug me about these things. They represent hope, I understand that. My rational mind has given up and is very happy with the size and shape of my family.

The rational part of me set a goal to get really fit and MILFy, and I did it. I’m the tiniest and fittest I’ve ever been. (Thank you Lyn Addy at the JCC for your great exercise classes)  My husband is enjoying how I look too.

But the emotional side of me is sentimental and hopeful. My hubby thinks that the tiny spark of hope that I can conceive and carry another baby is painful to me. But honestly I think carrying hope around in one form or another is a basic part of my personality. I live that way. I hope and I have dreams and I always want them to come true. I work hard at them, and if some things don’t happen then I live with it.

It’s just, I suppose, I’m still learning to live with it. And honestly the baby stuff doesn’t take up that much room. And I told myself that I’ll let them all go in 2012. I’m sure there are people out there who have their children’s baby items and crib in an attic somewhere and it doesn’t cause them any harm.

So here’s to the last months of holding out hope and new beginnings. I hope that for all of us.


3 thoughts on “big ticket items

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  1. Holly,
    I truly love reading your stories!! And never, never give up that spark of hope……we all need something to hope for otherwise life would be borring. Good luck with the move(and by the way, i still have the crib in the basement) 🙂

  2. Holly, I love your writing style and I also love your website, The pictures of you on there are both gorgeous and hysterical, the smoking on the toilet….LOVE IT! Anyway, thought it was quite coincidental that you are having a hard time getting rid of your crib, as I wrote a piece called “now that’s using your noggin” which pertains to our “family crib” . Of course I WANTED to get rid of it, but no one would take it, it might have a solution to what to do with it until you decide to make it into firewood 🙂 Thanks too for sharing your vulnerability. It shows how really strong and secure you are as a woman. Glad we met. Have a great weekend. Tiffany Stern

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