What a gift!

I received a miraculous gift. And I'd like to tell you about it because I could never have planned any of it.  Not that I could have planned most anything that's happened in my life. Never in  million years did I think while I was growing up on Long Island that I would move to...

ICLW

Hi ladies of ICLW. This morning I am trying to breathe through some serious cramping. I know these are serious because I've taken an Aleve and a PMS pill and still the pain radiating from my right hip flexor through to my back has me wanting to say, "Mercy!" On days like this I think my...

Letting Go

I did it. I packed up the last of the precious baby things I held on to and gave them away. The tummy time matt. Her crib bedding. The fancy felt blocks, BPA free bottles, and Sofie the giraffe. Deep breath. I think I'm settling back into accepting my reality: Hi, I'm Holly, and I...

Sisters

My little girl wants some sisters. She tells me about her big sister who is 14. Her sister is naughty. She pushes my girl and doesn't listen to mommy. Her sister also sings songs with her and plays with her. Some days my girl has a brother too, but not as often. She calls her...

Secondary Infertility Devistated My Friend–Why Didn’t I Feel More Compassion?

My friend Lisa wrote this article for the Huffington Post. It caught me a little off guard because the more I read, the more "Cassie" sounded like me. So I asked her, "Is Cassie me? Or am I being vain?" She admitted it was me. So here you are, an honest look at our shared...

Irony= Going back on the pill when I’m infertile

Met with my OBGYN yesterday. It's been practically five years since I went to see one for a regular PAP smear. I thought, after giving up on ever getting pregnant again, it was time for a check up and PAP. My new doctor, Jack Lucas, MD at Eastover Obstetrics & Gynaecology Associates was wonderful. He...

Snookie’s baby

Why on earth is the denied rumor that Snookie is pregnant news? Why was it on Yahoo!'s home page Wednesday? Why does it matter that a young, MTV reality celebri-wanna-be got drunk again and possibly pregnant? The so-called news tweaks my infertility nerve. First off my thoughts are, shit, another person who can when I...

Holiday Neurosis

I have been avoiding you. Nothing personal, it’s just I’ve had so many thoughts running through my head I needed time to sort them. I also wanted to be able to wrap them up in a funny package, but trying to write funny is disastrous. Instead I’ll confess to the things that have been keeping...

5 Days Late

I was five days late. Went out and bought a pregnancy test. Negative. Period showed up 7 hours later today. For a minute there I thought I was about to receive a Christmas miracle. Funny how hope can show up and make my heart race. Oh well. At least now I can drink some red...

Are you pregnant or trying to get pregnant?

Are you pregnant or trying to get pregnant? This question stopped me in my tracks last Friday. I wasn’t expecting to be asked. I was sitting in a cushioned chair at Voci Spa about to treat myself to a facial. I was taking time to take care of myself after taking care of my sick...